Games Played Out
by Lizicia
Summary: 'They never make commitments, never promise each other anything. Their arrangement-bordering-on-relationship is not really a secret but they're a couple who doesn't admit it.' Steve/Catherine, post-3x01.


**A/N:** So, last night's episode was kind of great. I was ready to be disappointed but Steve's mother was actually fantastic and Michelle Borth is in the credits and the whole Shelburne-Wo Fat thing turned out better than I thought. However, I needed to explore the Steve/Catherine relationship more, so here it is.

One extended scene from the episode, everything else is my imagination.

**Disclaimer:** I have yet to own Hawaii 5-0.

* * *

"_What does my son call you?"_

She is not nervous. She is Lt. Catherine Rollins of the United States Navy and meeting her boyf- Steve's mother does not make her nervous.

And yet, as she checks the perimeter for the third time, she can feel the woman's eyes on her, carefully calculating, analyzing everything and probably trying to figure out why Steve called her in particular. Or, rather, she's already figured it out, if her straightforward plunge at the beginning is anything to go by.

Catherine's joked about Steve's mommy issues but she knows that deep down, this is something to be dealt with gently as she recalls the first time she got a whiff of this particular issue.

* * *

"_Hey, Rollins! You going home for the weekend?" Private Johnson makes his interest in her so blatantly obvious that almost everyone rolls their eyes, including Catherine herself. She hasn't yet figured out how to let him down gently because this puppy love is not endearing in the slightest, rather annoying and especially amusing._

"_Yeah, Johnson, I'm going home."_

"_Sweet. You know, I'm going in your general direction and I could give you a ride home from the airport."_

_She smiles gently but there is no hiding the smirks on the faces of the three men also listening to the conversation, one of them more uncomfortable for her than the rest. Steve McGarrett. Tall, handsome, well-liked, a charmer – everything Catherine resists because she's seen him with more girls than she would think possible. Guys like him are only trouble, she knows and she stays away, ignoring every look he throws in her direction, every word because the moment she lets herself be carried away by him, is the moment she'll probably end her career._

"_Well, thanks for the offer, Johnson, but actually, my mother is going to pick me up. We haven't seen each other in a while, so, you know, a lot of catching up to do."_

"_Your mom? What are you, a girl?" Ortega, using every chance he can get to stress her difference from the rest of them, chimes in._

"_Yeah, I mean, who goes home to their mom?" The ever-present Sumika is never one to stay silent when Ortega's spoken; they're two irritating peas in the pod._

_Catherine fights the urge to say something mean because that would mean letting them win but before she can say anything, a third voice interrupts._

"_Maybe you two could learn a lesson or two about appreciating your mothers, rather than make fun of Rollins."_

_She meets McGarrett's eyes at this startling declaration and suddenly sees something she's never known to look for before. In an instant, there is pain and hurt, like a flash of a terrible memory and longing, paired with the knowledge of this never going away. The topic of mothers is not one to mess with around him and they all acknowledge it, some more begrudgingly and with less understanding than others._

"_Whatever, man. Anyway, I'm going to this bar where..." Ortega and Sumika walk away, Johnson following them a bit mournfully, somehow finally understanding a lost chance when he sees it._

_Catherine's still holding his gaze and it contains an amount of danger, this way she can just look at him and not feel uncomfortable but...right. Like he's supposed to know exactly what to say._

"_Thanks, McGarrett."_

"_Don't mention it, Catherine." Her first name is like a jolt of energy between them, and it surprises them both with his boldness and familiarity, so she turns away, not yet realizing how much of a turning point this one small conversation is._

* * *

Later she learns of the car accident and then finds out about his sister, about his father. Slowly, piece by piece and over time she realizes how much this loss has affected him. So Catherine does everything she can to make it better but when the one thing she never thought possible happens and his mother is alive, she is at a loss.

The woman keeps looking at her like she knows things, like she has the right to be here and a part of Catherine feels upset over the simplicity of it all. Mothers who have been dead for twenty years should do...something else, should not be sitting and calmly drinking their tea or inviting her to sit with her and create a very awkward silence.

"So, do you love my son?"

That woman and her questions. Catherine doesn't know what to say, except repeat the sentence back to Doris who completes it for her. And then there is silence.

"I mean, you're obviously more to him than just Lt. Rollins. Or more than a friend."

"Wow. I don't think it's appropriate to call you a _former_ intelligence officer."

"Deflection is really not going to work, Catherine."

"I don't think we should be having this conversation right now. I should go and check the perimeter again."

"It would be the fourth time in an hour. Are you trying to avoid me?"

She meets the older woman's eyes but refuses to budge. "Better safe than sorry." She flees the room before Doris has the chance to say anything more.

Truthfully, she doesn't know what to say. _I'm his girlfriend?_ They don't use those terms. _We have been having sex for the past seven years at random intervals of time, never bothering to discuss exactly what we are?_ That would be more accurate than anything but at the same time, very inappropriate.

She checks the surrounding area but her mind keeps going back to her last thought. Seven years is a long time not to know where you stand with someone. Especially if she counts their first real moment, the conversation about mothers. Then it's nine years.

Does she love him? She doesn't even dare to think about her answer. They never make commitments, never promise each other the world but Catherine knows they've made those silent promises. They don't see other people. They spend time together as much as they can. She's met his team, his friends and their arrangement-bordering-on-relationship is not really a secret in the Navy, though they don't publicly advocate it either. They're a couple who doesn't admit it.

She makes her way back to the living room as slowly as she can but when she enters, she immediately feels Doris' eyes on her. One other thing Steve apparently got from his mother, this way of seeing through people, of understanding things unspoken.

"The parameter's checked out, everything seems quiet."

"You do love him."

The famous McGarrett persistence. Apparently also passed down from Doris McGarrett.

"You don't have to say it but I can figure it out on my own as well. He invited you here to protect me, even though he could've left me with the HPD but he trusts you, someone outside his command and you came, just like that. He calls you _Cath_ – the walls here are thin – and he says it with such reverence, such emotion that I can deduce he also lo-"

"Stop." Catherine can't hear this from Steve's mother before she hears it from him. It feels like cheating, like peeking at the ending of a book before reading the story.

She meets the older woman's eyes and sees the understanding in them, sees the way she's figured it all out.

"Okay. But don't ignore it until you can't do anything about it."

And then there's voices outside and Catherine switches over to her training, protecting Doris just like she promised and not being the least bit surprised when she refuses to obey and instead comes out to meet Kamekona.

* * *

After everything seems to be over, she waits for Steve at his house, watching the sun go down over the ocean. It's been a long day, grueling both physically and emotionally. Her head catches up with the events of the day, replaying the conversation she had with Steve's mother and recognizing the truth in it.

They're playing relationship chicken, her and Steve. Neither willing to commit, neither willing to say it out loud, instead dealing in half-truths and looks and the unspoken and it's always been enough. Maybe they should do something about it, if she only knew where to start.

"I knew I'd find you here." Steve's voice comes from behind her and she hears his footsteps until he sits down next to her and instead of watching the water, looks straight at her.

The everything is in his eyes, as always. The gratitude, the relief, the delight, but she also sees a hint of worry and it makes her worry in turn.

"What's wrong? Did your mom leave?"

He lets out a long sigh and looks at the ocean this time. "Danny said the technicians found three slugs. In the floor. Fired from the gun you gave my mother."

"Wait, I don't understand. She fired three times into the floor and not at Wo Fat? How is that possible?"

"I don't know. But...she could've killed Wo Fat and she didn't. She let him get away."

It turns everything upside down again. First, his mother was dead, then she was alive, then she was being hunted by Wo Fat and then she let him go.

"I'm sure she had her reasons and I know you're going to find them."

He smiles slightly but it's a sad smile, like he knows whatever he found with his mother is about to be taken away from him again. And it kills her to see him like this.

"You know, you're a lot like your mother. I definitely see the strength of the McGarrett genes there."

That earns her a bigger smile. "Yeah, what did she do, interrogate you?"

"Something like that."

"About what?"

"Oh, you know. Things mothers ask their son's girlf-" And she stops before she completes the sentence. The word's been repeating in her head all evening and it just won't stay quiet, instead forcing its way out and she fears it will break everything they've held together and holds her breath.

Instead, he turns to look at her once again and Catherine sees the reverence Doris was talking about, sees everything she thought was outside the realm of possibility.

"I don't know, Cath. I've never had a mother to question my girlfriend before."

And it's a simple, silly little word but it fills her with so much warmth. He wraps his arm around her waist, pulling her closer.

"Thank you for being there, Cath."

He kisses her then, promising her the truth behind his words. And she believes it and thinks maybe they can start with this small thing and the rest will come together eventually.

* * *

**A/N: Let me know what you think!**


End file.
